Life Unexpected

One of my prayers these past years is that the Lord would help me to better handle the challenges of life and to not get so frustrated by them. I am definitely a type-A personality and don't usually handle very well the unexpected changes which life throws at us. Once my mind is made up, whether it is to begin a new ministry or simply to have raspberry jam on my toast, the idea is set in stone as far as I am concerned. Any change of plans is not greeted kindly and can put me in a most foul mood. I live my life making decisions and moving from one task to the next. Anything that disrupts my progress is perceived as a problem to be overcome as quickly as possible. Most people who know me well would say that I am very determined, focused and even driven. God however has been making it clear that this is an area which He wants to address.

Over these last couple of years I am finally beginning to grasp that life is not as I expected it to be, a series of tasks to be accomplished but rather a wild adventure to be lived. I am finally understanding the old statement about the journey being more important than the destination. What I mean is that I'm finding that God is more interested in using the road of life to transform me than He is in all the "ministry" I might do. Where I see the need to "plant churches", start "Bible schools”, literature programs, cooperative ventures, etc, He sees the need to help me become fully alive in Him. The lists and projects may be important, but in God's economy, of greater importance is creating a people who truly know and walk with God.

I'm beginning to see that the challenges of living in a fallen world are used by God to do His work in our lives. While He may not cause the pain around us or even most of the disruptions in our lives, most of which are the result of man's sin and rebellion against God's goodness, He nonetheless uses them to achieve His own ends. I again come back to C.S. Lewis' perspective that life between the fall and the restoration is a correctional facility.  Perhaps instead of viewing life's disappointments as obstacles to be overcome so we can get to our destination or to be simply endured as part of the fall, they are to be savored and embraced as tools to transform us. Perhaps these very things that we hate and which seem to be intended to destroy us are in fact an opportunity to be transformed. What the enemy intends for our destruction, God would like to use for good in our lives. Perhaps by embracing life’s challenges, God will be able to fully use them in our lives.

As I write this, Jo and I have found ourselves in a very interesting scenario. We stopped in England to visit her parents for Christmas. Just before we were to leave for Kosovo and Albania I hit a pole causing some damage to our vehicle. We've spent the last two weeks living with her parents while we've wrestled with the insurance company and now it looks like we will be here for at least another two weeks. We are stuck for a month in a country we were not intending on being in and we will be more than a month behind on the projects and plans we had laid out. I have been tempted to get very frustrated and to question, what I am doing here. I'm not able to work and be productive in the same way as I would like to be. I almost feel like I’m in the twilight zone.  Some, even I, might be tempted to think that this is wasted and unproductive time, particularly in some very work oriented circles (another article for later). Yet if God is more interested in the journey than the destination, then what is important is not the work I have to do or even the work I am doing at the moment, but rather the work He wants to do in me here, right now. Instead of fighting it and seeing this as an obstacle to be overcome, perhaps I should embrace this time as an opportunity for Him to bring transformation into my life. Life with God is not about accomplishment or about doing things according to plan, it is about living a life of adventure hand in hand with a wild and dangerous God who wants to transform us from the inside out. I don’t even know what country I will be in next week, but I am ok with that now. I can rest confident knowing that I am walking alongside Someone who knows where He is going, even though I don’t have a clue.